The GeriActor Interviews (Dec. 2018)

#41 (GeriActor #3)

Pronouns: She/Her

• My mother was a groundbreaker, in the late 1960s she was one of the first female city councillors in our small town. One day, she wore a pantsuit to a council meeting and it hit the front page of the news, people were saying “my God, what’s the world coming to?!”
  • Because my mother was such a trailblazer, I never really noticed a difference in how my brothers and I were treated
• I never really paid attention to my gender until I was older. Growing up I was a lot younger and smaller than everyone else, which was amplified when I skipped a grade in school. I graduated and immediately left to go to college at age 16, and was still fairly tiny and young-looking.
  • In college, I joined the Student Council and a lot of the other councillors were much older students; I was quite a bit younger than everybody else. It wasn’t until many years later that I learned they’d all been referring to me as ‘jailbait’ while I was part of the Council.
• I began working for a federal government agency, I was the first female ever hired for that position. We would all travel to conferences and I would be the only woman there as well; I was certainly teased being the only woman, but it never really bothered me!
• I don’t really remember women’s rights being an issue until I got pregnant with my first child in 1983 (while working in the same government position), which was when I really began to notice the discrepancy between men and women in the office.
  • The job involved hauling heavy items (projector, projecting screen, boxes of books) and although I was pregnant, my boss who could see me struggling to carry these items, wouldn’t so much as open a door for me, because if I “thought that [I] was woman enough to be in this ‘man’s’ position then [I] should be able to open [my] own doors”
• I was working for the same organization, in an assistant position along with two other women, where the office was sort of split up into clerical staff and the men who had the “real jobs”. Furthermore, it had always been that there were “men’s coffee breaks” and “girls’ coffee breaks”. We decided this was bullsh*t, because of course the men’s coffee breaks were where actual interesting discussion occurred about what was happening within the organization. So the three of us assistants went to join the men on their coffee break, and the chief of the office walked out and never came back!
• In 1985, when I was doing my MBA as a mature student, I noticed many sexist comments from the young men (who would one day be professional businessmen) in the program wondering why their female colleagues weren’t home, pregnant, in the kitchen, etc.
• Being treated as a senior woman today is interesting .. I get called “dear” a lot, and the tone of voice people address me with makes me feel as though I’m being treated like a small child, like people are trying to relate to a “little old lady”. It makes me cross!

When people say ‘Thank you, dear”, I want to say, ‘You’re welcome, Moose!’”

• I was on my way to Scotland to visit my son 8 years ago and the train was stuck on the train tracks. It was starting to get cold, and I heard one of the attendants make her way down the aisle to hand out blankets to “the children and the elderly”, and when she got to me, she handed me a blanket, no questions asked. I didn’t know whether to be offended or not, but I gladly accepted the blanket, although I don’t think of myself as elderly or a little old lady
• I was on another trip where my friend and I were the only people around our age on the bus (a lot of the others were much younger) and we were going to climb up a mountain. When we finished our hike, the bus driver was waiting and asked us, “Did you manage to get all the way to the top?”, when we said yes, that we had a wonderful time and enjoyed the hike, he responded, “I thought for sure I was going to end up carrying you both back down”.
• When I retired 15 years ago, I ran away to Clown School in Eau Claire, Wisconsin and became a trained therapeutic clown, as well as a trained leader in Laughter Yoga. I took part in a seniors’ drama class in Red Deer before moving to Edmonton and joining the GeriActors
  • The GeriActors have helped me immensely in my personal life; coping with tough situations through laughter, which is incredibly important. I believe that when you have a good laugh, it doesn’t solve the problems, but it makes them easier to deal with!

  

The GeriActor Interviews (Dec. 2018)

#40 (GeriActor #2)

Pronouns: She/Her

• Growing up, I didn’t really notice much of a difference in how girls and boys were treated. In school, my teachers always treated me very well because I was smart. Once I reached high school, I realized boys didn’t seem to like girls who were intelligent, and so I took on the behaviour of a typical “dumb broad”
• It was quite an exciting time for physical chemistry while I was attending university; lots of new transuranium elements were being discovered in the sciences
  • In university, I was successful and the only female student in my science classes; professors liked me because I was studious and smart, but I still, somewhat unconsciously, played the role of the “dumb broad”
• During the last year of my degree I applied for jobs working in labs; I received a letter back from one of the labs addressed to ‘MR. [surname]’, because they assumed that if I was applying to labs for work, I must naturally be a man
• One particular instance during this period in my life that stands out to me is after applying to work at the RCMP Headquarters lab, I received a rejection letter back explaining that they were unable to employ women because they simply didn’t have women’s washrooms in the building
  • I believe they said this because they really just didn’t want to hire any women, perhaps they thought I wouldn’t fit in with the rest of the employees, but all in all, it really just comes down to sexist attitudes at the time
• After applying to many labs, I got hired in a provincial job at a hospital in 1955. Both men and women worked at the hospital, although the head of the Bio-Chemistry branch was a lackadaisical man with a devil-may-care attitude. He wasn’t unkind, just easygoing, and many of us wondered how or why he’d even been hired in that position in the first place. This goes to show the difference in standards that were held for male and female employees, respectively.

How could I know if I was being treated differently [than men]? I had nothing to compare it [my experience] to.”

• Now that I’m a senior, I find that I’m happier than I have ever been! I tend to have more respect and consideration for elders now.
• As long as I’m able to get around, I’m fine. These days, when I’m not taking part in the GeriActors, I rent a room at the library once a month and teach a form of yoga called “Hidden Language”.
  • Hidden Language Yoga involves delving deeper into the poses and separating them from their physicality to reflect on their symbolism. For example, the tree pose could prompt one to ask oneself, “Where are my roots? Do they compete with other roots? What is the bark that protects me?”
• The insight that comes with practicing this form of yoga guides me in my personal life as well

 

  

The GeriActor Interviews (Dec. 2018)

#39 (GeriActor #1)

Pronouns: She/Her

• Growing up, I had very loving parents, and I came of age in an environment surrounded by love and support and a big Ukrainian family
• I knew that to my family, having sons was very important and it made me feel as though boys were more important than me. I was always competing with my older brother or taking care of my younger brother, sort of caught in the middle as the middle daughter
• My mother always told me not to be so loud, little girls were meant to be seen and not heard, and the expectations of me growing up were not to do whatever my brothers were doing.
  • I wasn’t expected or encouraged to go into sports, but I always managed to be independent and follow my own mind, wants, and needs. It upset my mother that I was bold enough to not follow the rules for girls
• Through junior high and early high school I maintained the competitive spirit I’d had with my brothers, I didn’t make friends with girls until later. It was much more fun to participate in things as I got older and lost a little bit of my competitive mentality
• As I developed and boys started to notice me, I realized I was being treated differently, and then my focus shifted to the importance of being pretty
• In high school, I had a boyfriend, my one true love. Although I wasn’t sexually active then, I noticed more and more, particularly in university, that being a woman meant being asked on dates and generally objectified.
• It was important to be a kind of an accessory to any boys I went out with, and as time went on it became less and less fun to be seen as the “eye candy”
• I was interested in dramatic arts and found that I was treated better and had more independence in the theatre world than anywhere else
• I went to the National Theatre School of Canada and enjoyed it, although as everything built up I had a breakdown, as a direct result of my inability to speak up on behalf of myself, as well theatre school leaving me generally burnt out
• After this breakdown, I began to search for answers; I took courses outside of the university, I attended therapy and worked on building my self confidence

I did not, as a woman, want to live a life of meekness and self doubt”

• I attended a personal development program which helped rid me of any shyness and allowed me to overcome my self doubt, lack of confidence, and the inner voice I had which had been negatively affecting me
• I don’t think of myself as a senior, I still adore fashion and makeup and I can hardly believe I’m 73! 
• I really admire the senior women who are speaking out and are actively engaging in community activities and events
  • I’ve begun to generate business myself as an instructor; I teach seniors strength and dance classes. I came back into acting and theatre through the GeriActors and I really feel as though I’ve learned through the company that I have something special to contribute
    • I take part in another theatre class with a focus on improv. The class really attracts brilliant people who I enjoy working with, I’ve produced a Christmas play and I’ll soon be directing a play!
• Feminism to me is about individualism, and encouraging people to be willing to step up and speak out about their passions and beliefs
• As a woman, finding something you want to do and actively pursuing it can be challenging, I think the most important component of following your desires is to not be afraid
                  

The Paper Cup Project Returns

Oh, hey! It’s been a minute. Well, actually, it’s been about 849,600 minutes since I last made a blog post, but who’s counting, right? The point is, I took a bit of an unofficial hiatus for personal reasons during the summer of 2017, but I’m back and better than ever! I come bearing more stories and thoughts and hands and cups to post and share with all of you. And because it’s the night before International Women’s Day 2019 (AKA the 2nd birthday of the Paper Cup Project), I have something a little different prepared to kick off a new era of Paper Cup.

In the fall of 2018, I had the opportunity to take an intergenerational theatre class which involved a group of several undergraduate (and one graduate!) drama students collaborating with an Edmonton based seniors’ theatre organization (The GeriActors!) in making original plays and vignettes based on lived experiences, thoughts, ideas, fairytales, fables, you name it. I learned very quickly that the class was not anything at all like what I had been anticipating. To be frank… Seniors are wild, y’all! I would often find myself shrieking with laughter and shock, not believing some of the things that came out of their mouths! After spending nearly 4 months sharing and creating with this group of people, the topics of our pieces ranging from aging and death, to growing up in the Netherlands during World War II, to modern day politics, to 80 year olds using dating apps, I learned a lot about the ways in which storytelling and performance can affect and support relationships between the most unsuspecting people (ie., my class of 20 somethings and a senior’s group of people ranging in age from early 60s to late 80s). I had an insatiable desire to learn more about the lives and experiences of my fellow artists, particularly the women of the GeriActors (affectionately called the Geris).

The class had a final project due at the end of the semester in December and had practically no stipulations other than the inclusion of some element of intergenerationality. I knew about 3 weeks after meeting the Geris that I wanted to expand on the Paper Cup Project and reboot it by sharing the stories and lives of a demographic that hasn’t been featured much on this page. Because I’m a 20-something old arts student, Paper Cup has prominently featured many people similar in age and in the same cultural/political/academic niche as me. Of course I’ve interviewed people outside of this group, but overall, I could use a little diversity when it comes to age! So I put out an open call to the women in the GeriActors to grab coffee with me and tell me about their lives, growing up as girls in a world I can barely imagine, and what it’s like living as senior aged women in the world today. I immediately received an enthusiastic response from many of the Geris, but due to time’s sake, could only pick a few to be included in my final project.

And so, with that lengthy but necessary backstory, I will present to all of you Paper-Cuppers in the coming days, some stories I had the wonderful chance to listen to firsthand from some amazing seniors, women, but above all; artists. As much as I am an advocate for young women/femme identifying folks being vocal and using their voices to effect change, I believe it’s important to listen to the women who have come before us and take what we need from their stories to strengthen our own. Take it from me, after hearing many older woman tell their life stories,  I never once walked away bored, unsurprised, or without a tidbit of wisdom to pass on.

Thank you to everyone who’s been a supporter of Paper Cup since I first started and who’s still with me now! I promise I won’t disappoint you with the stories I have to share, and the stories that are still waiting to be told.

XO, Cass

PS. If you want to learn more about the GeriActors theatre organization, I’ve linked their website and Facebook page below!

GeriActors Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/GeriActors/

GeriActors Website:
https://geriactors.ca/

April 5th, 2017: Finding a Place in the Middle

#38

Pronouns: She/Her

• I saw a video of a comedian who was talking about experiencing feelings that are seemingly harmless but when examined closer, are the result of a long, painful history of discrimination and harmful perceptions (Ex: Seeing a person of colour working alongside predominantly white co-workers and thinking “Oh, good for them”)
• It’s sort of the same with women; we often give them praise or are impressed when we witness them in positions of power or working alongside men. On one hand, it is great to see them accomplishing these things but on the other hand, isn’t it a form of sexism to praise them for doing what men have been doing for years?
• Being a white woman in university and especially in my friend circles, I don’t really experience any major discrimination perse, but I do witness small, harder-to-detect moments and micro-aggressions of sexism
• I exist somewhere in the middle of the spectrum in terms of what I see on a daily basis; I don’t see a lot of oppression on a concerning level, but I don’t tend to see much gratification or social gain for women either
• Sometimes I feel as though I don’t have enough experience/knowledge to even discuss matters like these
• I was raised by my goofy dad, who I never really felt pressured by to fit into the typical social mould of a woman. I was also raised by my traditional grandma and never really felt pressured by her to be anything I wasn’t, simply because her opinions and beliefs are becoming a little more outdated as time goes on
• As a kid I never really felt like I had to wear dresses and pink and fit in with other girls my age. This sentiment changed slightly when I went into high school theatre, particularly acting; it was harder to find a place there because roles that are written for women tend to involve very feminine costume choices, and mannerisms that can be hyper-feminized as well
• So I turned to tech and behind-the-scenes work, which I felt identified me in a more butch way than acting had, which made me feel that I had to fit a very specific role to be in either field, either extremely feminine in order to act, or extremely butch in order to do tech
• When I came into university I discovered a wide range of characters to play, whose performances and storylines came from the characters themselves, and not necessarily from their gender, which was so refreshing

I found a happy medium where I just get to be myself”

• I was always a little bit iffy about wearing dresses as characters, because I personally wouldn’t wear them, so I refused to in high school to sort of defy falling into a stereotype that didn’t even apply to my own life
• I’ve become more accepting and willing to wear dresses for characters now, because I see them as just another item of clothing, that don’t have to have a gender assigned to them
• I think of wardrobe choices as part of the character and I worry more about portraying a character truthfully; hoping that my personality shines through my performance
• I am a woman, yes, but I’m also an artist, a part of the queer community, a dog lover, and a university student
  

  

April 3rd, 2017: Creating My Own Feminist Philosophy

#37

Pronouns: She/Her

• I was lucky growing up because my mom was a second-wave feminist with a lot of thoughts and beliefs that were influenced by these empowering movements and empowered groups of people
• It set me up to think about feminism and women’s rights in a way that’s still extremely relevant and useful today
• That being said, I think she influenced me to be ashamed of being on the more feminine side or being more traditionally feminine by using makeup, for example
• I love my mom and I’m very close with her, she taught me a lot by being so progressive when I was a kid. But I think that as she’s gotten older, her views and outlook have become more conservative
• She was ahead of her time with her feminism back then, but she didn’t evolve as time went on and society became more and more liberal while her personal feminist philosophy remained the same
• Outside of my mother’s relatively positive influence on me as a child, I also felt some of that societal shame for being a woman, I was definitely socialized to be quiet, soft, and gentle
• A lot girls are raised to be overly kind and polite, even when it is completely warranted to get angry and fight back, and I’ve just recently fully figured that out for myself

Sometimes anger and aggression are a totally valid response to how someone is treating you”

• I was told that my main goal in life should be to find a soul mate in a cisgender white man, I was told that this was something to strive for and that my life wouldn’t be complete without a male partner
• This ultimate goal of getting married and settling down is something that I’ve been questioning a lot and realizing perhaps isn’t for me. Monogamy isn’t absolutely necessary and I can definitely find fulfillment in other types of relationships
• For example, my best friend and I have a deeply romantic yet platonic friendship that really exceeds the intimacies I have had with previous male partners in sexual relationships
• I like redefining love and where you can find it. Love and the validation that often comes with it don’t necessarily have to come exclusively from men
• I remember a time when praise and validation (particularly on my physical appearance) from men meant a lot more to me than compliments from women, in fact it’s still difficult today for me to get over craving that attention and confirmation from men
• It seemed cool to me then to have lots of guy friends and hang out with more men than women, because it made me seem “different” from other girls, which is something a lot of younger women in their teens tend to strive to achieve
• Today I have embraced my non-dude friends and have so much fun hanging out with girls, my friends and I do things I never did with my guy friends
• It’s more of a comfortable, safe, supportive environment with a deeper connection being friends with people who aren’t men
• I am a bride, a friend, artist…
• I am someone who is trying her best to be happy and make other people happy too!
  

  

April 3rd, 2017: Struggling to Adjust to a Gendered World

#36

Pronouns: She/Her

• I think the world is split into different communities of people right now with different beliefs and ideologies but it’s important to look at the world through an intersectional lens, and not just from one perspective
• Although there are lots of progressive and open-minded people who create and participate in movements towards change and equality, I don’t think we make up the majority of the population
• Being a person who isn’t a man in the world today comes with a lot of weight to bear, we’re basically the only ones who see something wrong and are actively trying to fix it. It’s sometimes hard to balance self-care and personal needs with trying to be empathetic and make change

Trying to see a light at the end of the tunnel even though it’s fucking impossible”

• Being a woman in the world today is totally different than it used to be. Although it’s nice that there is more visibility and awareness in the political/public sense, there isn’t as much crossover into social and personal realms
• Being socialized as a woman was really difficult for me, especially when I was growing up and dealing with intense and traumatic events and emotions, which no one seemed to care about because I was a young woman
• I did have a fairly alternative lifestyle compared to a lot of kids who grow up in cities, for example, gender and gender roles were pretty irrelevant and unimportant (I thought I was a boy until I was in middle school)
• I lived on a farm and spent the majority of my time with my family, and had varied interests that weren’t typically feminine. I enjoyed my childhood, I feel like I was free to be more true to myself
• That’s what made it so strange, when I began going to school in the city, to see women being sexualized and socialized to fit a certain mould. It really hurt me and took me by surprise to witness women being so objectified and taken away from themselves
• It’s definitely more freeing (although it shouldn’t have to be, it should be the norm) to live a non-gendered lifestyle and do what feels comfortable for you! Kids should be able to do whatever the fuck they want
• I am a lover and a creator
• I’m a person who struggles a lot, but I’m also a person who heals and is in the process of healing with help and support from my friends
  

  

April 3rd, 2017: The Isolation in Being Different

#35

Pronouns: He/Him

• Overall, I do not see women being treated well in the slightest
• Although I identify as a transgender man, I still like to dress up in drag and go out, so I definitely recognize the consistency between being perceived as a woman and being catcalled and treated like a piece of meat
• I didn’t come out as trans until I was 20, and it wasn’t something I was vocal about with anyone at all
• I grew up in a small American (predominantly white and Christian) town where if you were different in the slightest (queer, of colour, disabled, etc.) you were essentially alienated
• There was so much sexism there, the entire town structure is based on misogyny and extreme traditionalism, but because I grew up surrounded by its ideals, it didn’t seem terribly strange or erroneous when I was younger
• It wasn’t until I came to Canada that I realized that what I grew up with was wrong, I didn’t question very much what was happening around me, because I didn’t want to face any of it
• When I was around 13, I began to pay attention to current events and world news, and what I saw and read was so painfully depressing that I couldn’t handle it; I swore off the news and sheltered myself from it, not interacting with newspapers, televisions, and even searching things up on the Internet
• I lived a relatively isolated life for most of my youth, I was comfortable growing up alone, and especially as a young trans person, I didn’t want to encounter any conflict that I could avoid by simply being on my own
• I don’t feel like I’m treated much differently now VS how I was treated before I came out as trans, mostly because I’m still largely perceived to be a woman
• I grew up in the Mormon Church, which is powerfully patriarchal; if you’re a woman you essentially don’t get to do anything in the church but raise children; I realized through this that I wasn’t interested at all in continuing a life in organized religion

What kind of a religion is that? You preach love, but you treat men and women completely differently”

• I recognized that I was different very early on, I was frustrated that my parents wouldn’t buy me “boy toys” or “boy clothes”, although I didn’t mind playing with “girl things” I would’ve liked to have had the choice to enjoy the whole spectrum
• When I was 12, the feelings of being different really started to get to me, and by the time I was 17, I had mostly accepted myself but still wasn’t ready to come publicly. I began to ease my way into the idea of coming out as trans, and full came out when I was 20
• The first person I came out to was my childhood best friend, who, despite being very religious, was the most accepting person I came out to. She took me to all sorts of appointments, to get my first “guy clothes”, and to get my hair cut short, it was wonderful
• I’m no longer in touch with most of my family, when I tried to come out to my mother she became very upset and assumed it was something that she had “done wrong”. It took her four years to even start calling me my preferred name
• Despite the rocky beginning, this last year has been awesome and we’ve gotten a lot closer, she’s finally coming around, she’s trying really hard to refer to me by my preferred pronouns, and she even said she’s proud to be my mom
• My mother’s side of the family was great about it. Surprisingly, my grandma was immediately accepting and told me she loved me no matter what. My cousin was also completely supportive of me, but she’s also fairly removed from the family and the church
• I am an artist of all means that I can get my hands on. This statement is simple, but it really encompasses who I am. My life is made of art, it’s always been a major part of everything I do
  

  

April 3rd, 2017: Challenging Expectations of Monogamy

#34

Pronouns: She/Her

• I find it quite terrifying to exist as a woman in the world today; being raised and seeing other girls and women being raised under the notion that we couldn’t do certain things because of our gender is scary, I try not to think of it as something that will limit me in the future
• I think women are still treated poorly a lot of the time, although I do personally have a few good male friends who identify as feminists and who fully support me in my independence and choices to push past my gender to find happiness in my life
• However, the images that we’re confronted with daily from mainstream media can make it difficult to see yourself as a human and not just reduced to the cliché view of a woman
• Women are socialized to grow up and lead certain lives; get married and have kids, which is something I don’t really identify with or see myself doing now or at any point in my life
• I’ve found that people don’t take me seriously when I tell them I don’t want to get married or have children. I’ve been told it’s just a phase, and that eventually I’ll want to do those things, although I never hear of men being told anything at all when they’re in my position, it’s definitely a double standard
• Growing up with a traditional father meant we [my sister and I] had certain ideals we were expected to adhere to, ie: not moving out until we were married to make sure we had a male partner to support us and keep us safe. He didn’t really see the value in being self-sufficient as women
• It’s been challenging to break free from the stereotypes and gendered standards that were set for me throughout my life
• My father is starting to adjust to the fact that I’m not really a traditional woman, I’m independent, I have tattoos, I’m bisexual, etc. It’s taking some time but he is becoming more open-minded about these things
• My mother is almost the opposite of him; she supports everything I do and has always wanted to raise us as strong, liberated women, which helped to kind of counteract the ideologies my dad had about women
• I came out as bisexual about two years ago and very recently came out as polyamorous. I never really felt comfortable in monogamous relationships, so when I was dating my then boyfriend who was poly, I was introduced to a new way of thinking about relationships and it immediately felt very natural to me
• The introduction of a poly lifestyle became a new wave of self-discovery for me; it was very liberating to finally come to accept myself and set aside the worries about what others might think

Coming out as poly[amorous] has helped me to focus more on myself and less on what others expect of me”

• It really opens your eyes to other possibilities of relationship structures, once you break free from the binary mindset, you’ll realize there are more than two ways to do most things, including personal relationships
• There is more than one way to define polyamory, it’s very fluid and varies from person to person; allowing people to communicate fully to set their own boundaries in relationships
• I almost feel that it’s more commonly accepted for monogamous couples to cheat on each other and break trust than it is for poly couples to set certain rules and limits and abide by them completely
• I’m mainly passionate, especially when it comes to theatre. I’ve never experienced such joy and exhilaration than I have through my participation in the theatre community, no matter what I’m doing. It makes me feel whole.
• I care so much about others that sometimes it forces me to remember to focus on my needs too
• I’m a movie lover, I’ve recently started pole dancing, which I’ve fallen in love with; it really teaches you how to come out of your shell in a safe space to feel sexy and confident
• I’m actively trying to find things that I find as much passion in as I do in theatre
  

  

 

April 2nd, 2017: Finding a Place in the World

#33

Pronouns: They/Them

• Growing up and being socialized as a woman hasn’t been a great experience, just as it’s been a relatively terrible experience overall. Women historically have not been treated well and even hundreds of years later a lot of this behavior towards women has carried over; today I was catcalled, which is a small but not insignificant reminder of women and femme people being seen as “less than”
• I grew up in a small Alberta town, known for being very Christian, white, and conservative. I was homeschooled and always had a bit of an alternative way of thinking, meaning I never really socialized the same way that a lot of girls and women in my town did; this made me out to be a little bit of a black sheep in my community
• I worked for five years in a sawmill job that consisted entirely of male employees except for my mother and me and this is where I began to see how gender inequality was still alive and thriving, starting with new employees who wouldn’t take me seriously when I explained to them how to do things, but would listen intently to my male co-workers who had been working there for half as long as I had
• I worked with men from a few different religious groups (traditional Catholic, Mennonite) who had pretty segmented views of where women belong in society, and they really didn’t like that I was a pink haired femme person who was in charge
• In my current workplace a lot of us have queer and gender non-conforming identities, identities that perhaps don’t necessarily align with our outward appearances, customers sometimes find it odd when my coworkers refer to me by “them” and “they”
• My father didn’t take it well when I came out as queer and he isn’t someone I speak to anymore. My mother, however, was very accepting and continues to support me as much as she can, although gender and sexual politics are not something she grew up learning about
• I am 30% beer, 40% hair dye, and the rest of me is made up of cheese, cats, expensive soap…
  

  Gender is fake”